Tweak Your Week: Share the Talking
Tweak Your Week: Share the Talking
Tips, tricks and tweaks to help founders each week. You’ll be surprised what a difference these tiny experiments can make.
Good morning Upsiders!
This week’s tweak is all about coordination. Not hand-eye or foot-mouth coordination (although this particular tweak may help with the latter), but conversational coordination, a.k.a. the art of taking turns.
This basic skill can be forgotten by founders in their rush to get to an answer or “cut to the chase”. It’s easy for junior team members or direct reports to be overpowered or overwhelmed and start clamming up. Dominating conversations leads to dumber outcomes and domineering founders lead dumber companies.
Conversational turn taking is fundamental to building trust and confidence within your team because it allows everyone to feel heard, respected, and valued. It lets quieter people have their say and gives louder folk the chance to listen to someone else’s ideas. Remember, the best ideas can come from anywhere.
In short, it’s a win-win.
So, this week, how about deliberately setting up some conscious turn-taking conversations? Create some conversational equality with your team and see how everyone speaks more, hears more, learns more, and grows in confidence.
Here’s how to do it:
Tell your team (or the person you’re talking to) that this particular conversation is going to be structured – each of you will have a turn to speak, but will be expected to listen carefully to what the others are saying until that turn comes.
When someone else is speaking, listen to what they are saying – don’t just focus on what you want to say when it’s your turn. Taking notes will help bring your full attention to their words.
When it is your turn to speak, start by acknowledging that you have heard what the previous person said – you can agree or disagree with them of course, but show that you have been actively listening and understand their position with a brief verbal acknowledgement or response to their ideas.
End your turn with a question. This is the clearest signal that it is someone else’s moment to speak and it forces them to engage with what you have been saying. If you’re stuck, the simplest question to ask is “what do you think?”
Notice a difference?
Tell us how you go. Share your experiences - ‘mazing or meh - with the Upside community.
We’re all a work in progress.
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